How to spot romance scams and bots

Romance scams are big business. Americans reported losing $1.14 billion to them in 2023 across 64,003 reports, with a median loss of $2,000 per person, according to the FTC. In 2025 nearly 60% of romance-scam losses started on social media rather than dating apps, which is why so many scams try to move you off the app.

Warning signs

• She's gorgeous, keen and can't meet. Working overseas, on an oil rig, in the military, caring for a sick relative.
• She won't video-chat, or the camera is always "broken".
• She wants to move to WhatsApp, Telegram or Instagram within a few messages.
• Money comes up. A ticket to visit you, a medical bill, customs fees, or a "sure thing" crypto investment she'll teach you. No real match needs your money.
• She asks you to pay a site to "verify" yourself before she'll meet. Real apps verify you inside the app, for free.
• Replies feel scripted: they don't engage with what you actually said, or arrive instantly at any hour. That's often a bot.

Sextortion

A common scam: a match flirts fast, gets you to send intimate photos or video, then threatens to send them to your family and employer unless you pay. The FTC's advice: don't pay (it rarely ends there), stop responding, keep the evidence, and report it. Be wary of "recovery" services that promise to make it go away for a fee; the FTC has warned about those too.

If you've been targeted

• Stop sending money and contact your bank or card issuer straight away.
• Report the profile in the app.
• Report the scam to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.

Being scammed says nothing about your intelligence. These are organized operations with scripts that work on everyone.