First-date safety: for both of you

Safety advice is usually written for women, and women are the ones most at risk. But men get catfished, robbed and blackmailed on first dates too. The good news is that the same habits protect you both, and doing them openly makes you a better date.

Before you meet

• Video-call first. Five minutes confirms she is real and matches her photos, and lets you both check the vibe. Someone who always has a reason not to video-chat is a warning sign.
• Keep personal details back. Your workplace, home address and surname can wait until you know each other.
• Look her up lightly, and expect her to look you up. It's normal and sensible.

The date

• Somewhere public, busy and easy to leave. A bar or café, not your place or hers.
• Get there and back on your own. Don't offer to pick her up; it can feel like pressure.
• Tell a friend where you are and when you expect to be done.
• Watch your drink and your phone, and stay sober enough to make decisions.

Being a safe date

• Suggest the public place yourself. Let her choose if she prefers.
• Treat "not tonight" as a full answer. Consent is an ongoing yes, not a negotiation.
• Don't follow up more than once if she goes quiet. Unwanted continued contact is one of the most common bad experiences women report from dating apps.

If something goes wrong

Leave. Report the profile in the app (every app on this site has block and report). If you are in danger, call 911. RAINN runs a 24/7 hotline at 800-656-4673 for anyone affected by sexual violence.